Major Composition Elements

Example:

The thesis statement below has been revised. Think about why the original thesis statement needs revision and how the revised statement narrows down the development of a composition.

Drunken driving should be a serious issue in Congress.

Revised to:

In order to save lives, Congress should enact legislation to force states to adopt stricter standards for drunken driving.

Rationale:

Although both statements claim that Congress has an obligation concerning drunken driving, the revised statement qualifies as a more focused thesis. The revised statement sets forth a specific point of view which limits discussion to one issue (drunken driving legislation), and makes a judgment about that issue (the legislation should make State standards stricter). Therefore, the revised thesis better prepares the reader for the argument to follow by encapsulating that argument in a single statement. Two possible thought relationships could be used to support the thesis statement: causality and exemplification. By arguing from causality, the writer would state reasons to support the claim that stricter drunken driving standards will help save lives. By arguing from exemplification, the writer could describe specific instances about vehicular accidents caused by drunken driving.

Example:

Read the following passage, and briefly think about your reaction to it. Do you have some ideas on how you would revise the passage? Is all of the necessary information included in the paragraph, or would you need to do more research on the topic? Which statements need clarification? Do you think the sentences in the passage need to be in a different order?

Original Passage:

The focus in language teaching has shifted from the mastery of structures to communicative proficiency. Today Communicative Language Teaching (CLT) has become widely accepted. CLT places major emphasis on communicative purposes of the speech act. A speaker of a language, who has knowledge of the speech act realization patterns in that language, usually knows the rules. This paper examines the characteristics of CLT, the theoretical framework, and the syllabus design for the communicative classroom.

Discussion:

This passage begins by raising interest about a shift in language teaching but then fails to build curiosity because it does not explain what caused the shift. The passage introduces jargon, specifically "Communicative Language Teaching," without using everyday concrete terms to define CLT. Also, the relationship between the language teaching shift and CLT is not clear. Further, the fourth sentence of the passage ("A speaker of a language . . . ") is irrelevant as it stands because nothing in the sentence makes an explicit connection to the topic. Although the last sentence points the reader in the general direction of the paper's development, it does not narrow the focus to a specific aspect of CLT.

Revised Passage:

The focus of language teaching has shifted from a mastery of grammatical structures to the broader concept of communicative proficiency. The shift resulted from the realization that knowledge of grammatical structures does not in itself imply the ability to use language effectively. This claim has been persuasively argued in Hume's theory of communicative competence and Halliday's functional account of language use. Such a shift in the focus of language teaching is reflected in an instructional approach called Communicative Language Teaching. CLT, with its emphasis on the communicative purposes of speech acts, has become widely accepted by learning theorists. Moreover, the CLT approach has had a strong practical influence in syllabus design for language teaching. The purpose of this paper is to examine how CLT has provided a path both to explore functional content categories for language teaching and to investigate socio-linguistic considerations as a means of developing communicative competence. This paper begins with a description of the characteristics of CLT, moves on to an analysis of CLT's theoretical foundation, and finally specifies the content of a typical CLT syllabus design.

Discussion:

The revised passage gives the reader a much better picture of the topic because:

• No sentence introduces irrelevant details that distract attention from the topic of CLT.

• An explanation of CLT and its function is set forth in explicit terms.

• A specific outline of the paper is clearly indicated.

Example:

Original Draft:

The information-processing model assumes that the learner selects the information to be processed and accomplishes the transformation of information to long-term memory through sequential stages from input to output. The model comprises three main stages that contain different physiological properties: the sensory registers, short-term memory, and long-term memory.

The essential first step for information to enter the processing model is the storage of incoming sensory information that is received by receptors in the form of nerve impulses before moving to short-term memory. The sensory register briefly stores representations of external stimuli from the environment until the information can be transferred to the next stage of the model.

The new information in short-term memory, by subjection to further processing, may be transferred to and made part of long-term memory if it survives the second stage of the process. Long-term memory is a relatively unlimited and permanent repository of information. Long-term memory stores for later use information that has been well processed and integrated into one's general store of knowledge. Once information is stored in the long-term memory, it stays there.

But not all information makes it into long-term memory (the third stage). The information selected and recognized in the first stage, the sensory register, if not lost, will be transferred from a rapidly decaying status to another form of temporary storage - short-term memory. This second stage of the information-processing model is limited in duration and capacity. Short-term memory can be thought of as conscious memory because it holds all the information that a person can be aware of at one time. It allows information to be manipulated, interpreted, and transformed. Unless information in short-term memory is either rehearsed or encoded, it will decay and be lost before getting a chance to be transferred into long-term memory.

Discussion:

In terms of organization, each paragraph in the original draft may be considered to have its own unity. But, the composition as a whole suffers because the writer has not organized it in such a way that would eliminate the confusing references and ordinal indicators that are needed to keep the stages out of one another's way. The draft composition needs:

• An organizing principle that will eliminate the confusion of stage references

• Coherence between paragraphs to smooth the flow of ideas

• A concluding paragraph to reassert the unity of the composition

Revised Draft:

The information-processing model assumes that the learner selects information to be processed and accomplishes the transformation of information from input to output in sequential stages. The system comprises three main stages, each defined by different physiological properties: the sensory register, short-term memory, and long-term memory.

The essential first step for information to enter the information processing system is the storage of incoming sensory information that is received by receptors in the form of nerve impulses. This sensory register briefly stores representations of external stimuli from the environment until the information can be transferred further.

Next, the information selected and recognized in the sensory register, if not lost, will be transferred from a rapidly decaying status to another form of temporary storage - short-term memory, which is limited in duration and capacity. Short-term memory can be thought of as conscious memory because it holds all the information that a person can be aware of at one time. It allows information to be manipulated, interpreted, and transformed. Unless information in short-term memory is either rehearsed or encoded, it will decay and be lost.

Finally, the new information in short-term memory, by subjection to further processing, may be transferred to and made part of long-term memory. Long-term memory is a relatively unlimited and permanent repository of information. Long-term memory stores for later use information that has been well processed and integrated into one's general store of knowledge. Once information is stored in long-term memory, it stays there.

Although they are discrete steps with different properties, these three stages combine to make up a single information processing system. Any consideration of how this system functions should thus take into account how the parts relate to the whole.

Discussion:

The revised draft presents a better organization because:

• The focus is removed from long-term memory alone and distributed evenly to all three stages of the system.

• The refocusing clears the way for the composition to be developed logically.